I didn’t have a Plan H
I had a Plan A and it was working. It was clear, it made sense, and I was moving forward with it.
I was teaching Physical Education (PhysEd). My days were filled with movement, energy, and a lot of “try again” conversations with students who didn’t quite believe they could do it yet. That was my world, and I knew how to move through it
Then MS showed up and, without much warning, started rewriting the rules.
At first it was subtle. There was a bit of numbness. Fatigue that didn’t quite make sense. My right side occasionally decides it has other plans for the day. I told myself it was temporary. I could push through. I just needed to try harder.
That worked for a while, until it didn
There came a point where pushing harder wasn’t solving anything. It was jus exhausting me faster. And that is when something uncomfortable started to creep in
If I couldn’t do things the way I used to, then who was I now
That question sat with me longer than I expected, because it wasn’t just about work. It was about identity
For a while, I thought I had lost it
The version of me who moved easily. The version of me who didn’t have to think about every step, every ounce of energy, every decision about what my body could handle that day. I kept trying to get back to her.
And then, slowly, not in one big moment but over time, something shifted.
I started to notice that the parts of me that mattered most had not actually gone anywhere. The curiosity was still there. The part of me that encourages people was still there. The part of me that believes people are capable of more than they think is still there
It just did not look the same anymore.
That was hard to accept at first, because I did not want different. I wanted familiar. But different kept showing anyway.
Writing started to appear in my life. Speaking followed. Conversations that went deeper than anything I had done before. At first I saw all of it as a detour, like I had somehow ended up off track.
But the longer I stayed on this path, the more it started to feel like maybe this was a path too. Just not the one I planned.
I talk about this more in my book MS doesn’t define ME: The Biography of a Polymath, because this was not just about MS. It was about what happen when life quietly removes the version of you that felt certain and leaves you standing in something unknown
I think many people find themselves there at some poin
A diagnosis. A job that ends. A door that did not open when it was supposed TO.
And suddenly Plan A is not available anymore.
That does not mean there is no plan.
It just might not be one you recognize right away
Closing Thought
I did not have a Plan H.
But I am starting to think that is the point.
You do not always see the path when you begin.
Occasionally you only recognize it after you have already been walking on it for a while
Book Note
This reflection is inspired by stories shared in my book MS Doesn’t Define ME: The Biography of a Polymath.
